My Immortal: Here we go again
by ArouaPotter
Summary: Read the imfamous 'My Immortal' while I tear it to shreads. I know there are a lot of these stories, but I needed to get what I felt about this story off my chest. Please Read and Review! Rating for swearing.
1. Chapters 1,2,&3

**Hello there! I know there is a lot of these My Immortal stories, but I thought I'd take a crack at it. I hope you like my little add in's. Enjoy my pretties. **

**Everything in bold is what I wrote in.**

**Everything else is My Immortal. (Which I –thankfully- don't own)**

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><p>Chapter 1.<p>

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)** Hmm, no I didn't know that because that is not a real word. Now if you mean gothic then no I still don't believe you.** 2 my gf (ew not in that way) **Wasn't thinking that until you said it. Now I don't think I believe you mean it in that way.** raven, **Wow you actually used a comma! Everyone let's throw a party for her! **bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. **I wonder if 'Raven' purposely fucked up the spelling. Questions, questions. **U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! **Is this 'Justin' real? Or is his he one of her 'special' friends?** MCR ROX! **And the reason for the random band shout out is because?**

**Now I'm going to try to interpret that wonderful (NOT) AN.**

**AN: Special thanks (get it, cause I'm gothic) to my girlfriend (eww not in that way) Raven, bloodytearz666 for helping me with the story and spelling. You rock! Justin you're the love of my depressing life, you rock too! My Chemical Romance (MRC) rocks!**

**See how almost better that sounds spelled right?**

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia **Wow that fits you great!*** Raven Way **Three middle names? Where Ebony's parents smoking something like Albus's were when they named him? **and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) **No shit Sherlock.** with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee **Amy Lee is pretty, something you are not! **(AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) **Bitch.** I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. **If you think and I quote 'he's a major fucking hottie' why the hell would you want to be related to him?** I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. **Argg! No! She read Twilight!** I have pale white skin. **I guessed that sense it goes with the whole 'Look at me I'm so totally a goth!'** I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). **Holy crap, call the press!** I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) **Really now?** and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic** No! You will not ruin my favorite store!** and I buy all my clothes from there. **I would have never guessed. Your smartness astounds me.** For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. **You used almost three lines to explain the slut clothes you're wearing? I think I can see a theme coming soon! **I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, **Hello dip shit it's called sleet, of course there would be no sun. **which I was very happy about. **Of course you would be.** A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. **How do you know they weren't admiring your wonderful whore clothes? Always ask before giving them the finger.**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! **Hmmm, not so OOC expect he doesn't shout, but other than that it's ok. What's with the '…' though? **

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. **Now that! That my friends, is OCC. Somewhere the real Draco Malfoy just committed suicide.** But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. **Making that epic dialog utterly pointless. **

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! **Hell no it's not good! I think I shall go buy brain bleach now. **

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><p><strong>Congrats you just got through one whole chapter of my Immortal. Yes you might be cringing by now or crying at how badly written it is, but with my help we can get through this. Together. Right chapter two here we go.<strong>

**WARNING! You might want to grab a pillow or something to bite, punch, rip, or do what you must to not throw your computer out the window. **

Chapter : Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! **Again I ask, is Raven purposely fucking up this story?** BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! **Never! When you write good, I'll stop trashing it.**

**Interpret time!**

**(I think she meant) AN: Thanks to bloodytearz666 (Raven) for helping me with the chapter! By The Way preps stop flaming my story ok! (It scares me that I know what she's talking about.) **

next day I woke up in my bedroom. **Wow, how abnormal that is! Because you know I never sleep in my bedroom. **It was snowing and raining again.** Yes, we all know expect you and Raven that it is called sleet!** I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. **Coffin…Bottle of Blood…did you get that at Hot Topic? **My coffin was black ebony **Same color!** and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends.** I thought Ebony were goffic? Shouldn't she not like pink?** I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. **Like the whore you are you of course didn't were any pants.** Instead, I put on a black leather dress, **Sounds uncomfortable** a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.** Yes, my guess that this is going to be a repeating theme is coming true so far! **My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) **No fucking way!** woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes.** Hold the potion! Did I read that right? Did 'Willow' really just wake up, grin, flip her hair, THEN open her eyes? Is she some freaky vampire as well?** She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. **Readers! We have another slut abroad! **We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. **Oh was she one of the friends that called Ebony yesterday?**

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. **Call the Daily Prophet! Ebony blushed! **

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.** Err, aren't the Slytherin common rooms like in the dungeons? How can they walk straight into the Great Hall? **

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.** Yes, because I always curse and scream when my friend ask if I like someone.**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.** Huh? That makes no sense. Maybe if she wrote, 'flirting a bit with him' or something like that, it would be better.**

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.** Muggle band. Wizard village. Totally makes sense. **

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. **I thought she was goth! They don't believe in God, do they?** I love GC. **Would have never guessed.** They are my favorite band, besides MCR.** Really! I again would have never guessed. **

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.I gasped.** Because that's what I do when someone asks me out. What an epic chat Draco and Ebony had there, I think Draco said the most words.**

**You now made it through two chapters of My Immortal. Go celebrate! Now here's chapter 3, let's hope it's a little better though I doubt that very very much.**

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><p>Chapter 3. <strong>Deep breath in, and out.<strong>

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! **Nooo! Someone gave this bitch good reviews? Can someone get bail ready for me, I might need it.**FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.** Might be the only part that's good and spelled right in this whole chapter, this is if you do spell it right. Also, you can't even say you 'don't own' Harry Potter because there is really nothing Harry Potter about this. I think J K Rolling would cry if she read this. **

**Interpret Time!**

**AN: STOP FLAMMING THE STORY PREEPS OK! Otherwise thanks to the gothic people for the good reviews! THANKS AGAIN RAVEN! Oh yeah, By The Way I don't own this or the lyrics for Good Charlotte. **

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. **Do you mean lace?** I put on matching fishnet on my arms.** Matching fishnets on your arms? What the hell is that? For your outfit though were going to sing a little song, ready everyone? S-L-U-T What does that spell? Slut!** I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. **How did you straighten and spike it?** I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. **Wow! You just slit one of you wrist for the heck of it!** I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC.** Yeah, because when I slit my wrist I always just read while waiting for it to stop bleeding. Not like go to the nurse or anything. **I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner.** Did you have anything left after you used TONS of it?** Then I put on some black lipstick. **Shocker.** I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. **Yet you put it on yesterday and the day before. **I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.** Oh! That's why you slit your wrist! So you can drink more blood! Makes sense now…NOT!**

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.** I thought he hated muggle stuff?** He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!) **Personally I saw this one guy that did look really hot in eyeliner, but not every boy can pull it off. **

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.** You shouldn't have used the exclamation point then sweetheart.**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) **So creative.** and flew to the place with the concert.** I see your middle name is coming into effect here.** On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. **I bet you were on drugs when you wrote this…bitch. **When we got there, we both hopped out of the car** In mid air! Please let it be in mid air!** We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte. **Because only preps dance at concerts. Us goffic only jump up and down!**

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
>They're all so happy you've arrived<br>The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
>She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song). <strong>Wow, that made the happiest day of your life turn into something from a horror movie. If you did own the lyrics maybe your story would be a little better. <strong>

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.** Yes, because all guys want you to say someone else is hotter than them when you're on a date.**

Suddenly Draco looked sad.** Only someone stupid would not know why.**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.** Wow, how many brain cells died for you to figure that out?**

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.** All the goffic sound like preps now! We use it to confuse people.**

"Really?"asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.** IT'S MURDER I TELL YOU! MURDER! The poor Hp cannon is dead somewhere. Please bow your head and have a moment of silence.**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.** Well when you said 'Hilary fucking Duff' I kind of guess that you fucking hated her, but how could she have a blonde face? Is Hilary Duff suddenly Harvey Duff?**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. **"But then realized that we were wasted and were actually asking two poles for their autograph." **We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz,** Because like the good role models they are there probably trashed and high and couldn't get on their two feet. **but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into…**TO THEIR DEATHS?** the Forbidden Forest!** CLOSE ENOUGH!**

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><p><strong>Congratulations! You have now read three chapters of My Immortal. Again we ask you to bow your head for a moment of silence for all the poor brain cells that died while reading that. Stay tune for the next chapter, we get to see if something kills them in the Forbidden Forest! Let's all cross out fingers and pray that's what happens!<strong>


	2. Chapters 4,5,&6

**Hello again. If you came back to read 3 more chapters then I should warn you that more brain cells shall die. I congratulate you for even getting this far. **

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><p>Chapter 4. <strong>Whoop de fucking do.<strong>

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY **Wait! So you just spelled her name right three words back, but now you spell it totally different? Did you forget your OC's name three words later? **nut mary su **Well I glad you cleared that up. I was for sure thinking her name was 'mary su'** OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok! **And that has to do with what? Just because I'm SOO IN LUV with someone doesn't make me act like a total poof.**

**Interpret time!**

**AN: I said stop flaming ok? Ebony's name is EBONY she's not a Mary Sue OK! DRACO IS SO IN LOVE with her that he is acting differently! They knew each other before ok! **

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" **Oh my! Is she actually getting some sense here? Do my eyes deceive me? **

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously. **Is parking on the ground to preppy for you? Do you need to fall out of the flying car to be goffic? ARE YOU DEAD?**

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. **Sadly they're not dead. Yet on the bright side her language has yet to improve.**

"Ebony?" he asked. **At least he remembers her name.**

"What?" I snapped. **Gees, hon he just asking you something no need to bite his head off!**

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) **Well I don't think he's a demon (though in this story anything could happen) so yeah I got he was wearing something like that. Aren't contacts a muggle item though?** which revealed so much depressing sorrow **same thing bitch.** and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. **Because red eyes are so sexy.**

And then… suddenly **Somewhere in the world a English teacher killed themselves. **just as I** Forget something? How about the rest of the damn sentence?** Draco kissed me passionately. **Woo! Do I smell some smut coming up?** Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. **If he climbed on top of you how are you leaning against a tree? **He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. **Yes, yes the smut!** Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. ***blinks* That was the smut scene? His thingie? What about cock? You-know-what? Do you mean pussy? Come on you don't mind cussing up a storm, but you can't even write a ok sex scene! **

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. ***eye twitches*** We started to kiss everywhere **Brain bleach! **and my pale body became all warm. **I don't want to know! *covers ears and hums*** And then…. **You die and someone actually write a better sex scene in your story! Please let it be true!**

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" **If I was the trees around them that had to see that I would also say that!**

It was….Dumbledore! **HOLY SHIT! NOW THAT I DIDN'T EXPECT!**

**Well there you go chapter 4. So after that awful sex scene and the surprise cussing Dumbledore we now tackle chapter 5.**

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><p>Chapter 5.<p>

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor **You spelled it right last chapter!** swor is coz he had a hedache **Because I always cuss like that when I have a headache.** ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! **Oh, is he not getting any?** PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! **What, pray tell is revoiws?**

**Interpret.**

**AN: STOP flaming! If you flame it means you're a prep or a poser! The only reason Dumbledore swore is because he had a headache ok and on top of that he was mad at them for having sex! (Because Snape won't give him any more blow jobs!) P.S. I'm not updating until I get five good reviews!**

Dumbledore **Look she spells it right here!** made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily. **I hope your clothes were back on. Please let your clothes be on!**

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted. **Hmm, I might start having to use that, just for the heck of it.**

I started to cry tears of blood **OMG! That is not normal why isn't anyone bringing her to the hospital wing…wait just a moment. Maybe she will cry all her blood out and die!**down my pallid **Pale?** face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry. **…I think I understand…***

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice. **Sexual intercourse? Couldn't Tara just have said sex?**

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall. **Another one I must use! Actually I did use that on my brother yesterday, weirdly he just stared at me like I was high or something.**

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape. **What the hell is with the question mark? **

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" **It solves everything! Really next time you're in trouble just shout 'BECAUSE I LOVE HER!' watch the instant results. **

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **No punishment? The world is ending!**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us. **Die die die.**

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. **Woo! What about the 'What do the fuck you think you fucker!' or something like that? Doesn't she usually curse?** I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. **Because all the girls sleep in that by themselves. **When I came out…. **There were random dots all over the place screaming 'Eat you!'**

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. **Hit him!** I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. **So I kicked him in the balls and threw him out the window! …that didn't happen, did it? **We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room. **Because he was so sure he was going to get laid again.**

**Chapter 5 is done! Interesting wasn't it. Now what I meant with the little * is has anyone notice that when Tara introduces a character into her story she spells there name right the first time? Afterwards though it spelled all wrong. Think about it as you read chapter 6.**

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><p>Chapter 6.<p>

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! **I say we kill the people who give her good reviews. **

**It says- AN: Shut up preps ok! (What's with her and saying ok! At the end of her sentences in the AN? P.S. I won't update until you give me good reviews!**

The next day I woke up in my coffin. **Really? You didn't wake up in the bathroom or anything?** I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. **Slut!** I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. **I'm confused, isn't she a vampire? Or is she a Twilight 'vampire'?** I spray-painted my hair with purple. **Hey who uses die anymore, we can just spray paint it!**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. **Yes, I'll have blood, blood, and oh yes more blood. **Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top. **How? Weren't you sitting down?**

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. **OMG YES! She's back to her normal cussing self.** I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. **Is everyone got in this story?** He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. **Wo! Why aren't the teachers saying anything about this? **He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. ***major eye twitch* Please dear god tell me it's not who I think it is!** He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. **Yes, why in the world would a British boarding school have guys with a English accent! **He looked exactly like Joel Madden. **If Tara like him, I'm guessing he's ugly.** He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. **One. Don't you have a fucking boy friend? And Two. You're the one that wrote it you nasty bitch!**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice. **Goth and shy does not mix.**

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned. **Weren't you just cursing at him?**

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled. **! She… she… SHE DESTORYED HARRY POTTER! *faints***

"Why?" I exclaimed. **Exclaimed is with a '!' a '?' is when you write 'I asked'**

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. **Oh….PEOPLE I'M SO SORRY TO ANOUNCE THAT PROFESSOR SNAPE HAS FINALLY POSIONED HARRY POTTER! Thank you for your time. Giggled does not equal goth at all! Giggled equals prep!**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed. **Shocking! You didn't mention that several time in the previous chapter.**

"Really?" he whimpered. **And you did that because?**

"Yeah." I roared. **So not only did Harry (I refuse to call him Vampire) whimpered in the sentence above, but now Ebony roars? Interesting.**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. **Why couldn't you say this in the beginning and not make us waste reading that utter crap!**

**CONGRADULATIONS! You now made it through 6 chapters of shit…I mean My Immortal! If you feel dumber than you did before don't worry, reading this will do that for you. Look forward to 3 more chapters tomorrow! **


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